vow ~ 1986/age 16

      I cannot get him out of my thoughts.
      This is no obsession, this is no sort of love.

      I open the door
      to allow myself to be abused,
      to allow myself to be tortured.

      His hands follow my curves; his lips echo sighs.
      How he humiliates me, and yet I do not compain.

      But instead I whisper back to him,
      I explode with him,
      He picks me up, puts me down like a plaything,
      he adores my adoration.

      I leave, half angry, half satisfied
      and I vow not to return.

      But I do.

© 1986/2001